Ok people. This "election fever" has driven me to the point of insanity.
I can't even just go to work without someone wanting to talk politics. I can't be in PUBLIC in my uniform without someone asking my opinion on who to vote for. TAKE NOTE PEOPLE. If we are IN uniform...WE CANNOT FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT!
I'm sick of the news. FoxNews...you included. I'm sick of the commercials. Even the stupid local election ones. If you are running for Alderman...honestly, go fuck yourself. I don't care. Stop annoying me during my episode of House. Have fun arguing with the local school-board. I have real-world shit to deal with, like which socks to wear with my running shoes.
Look people. We are in not one, but 2...as in TWO, wars that are inter-connected in this whole Global War on Terrorism thing. The economy? It blows. Education? Don't get me started. Immigration? We might just start shooting folks. The list of issues is out of control. Its hard-times people.
And you know what? Barack Obama CANNOT fix it. John McCain (God I love him, but...) CANNOT fix it. Not overnight.
Work with me here people...
On November 4th, we get a new President. A new Commander-in-Chief for me. Hoo-fucking-ray. Guess what people?! On November 5th...NOTHING CHANGES!
If John McCain gets elected:
The terrorists will NOT just suddenly say? "You know what? I don't really WANT those 72 Virgins" and just go back to hearding goats. The budget won't balance itself. The national debt will not just reset itself to zero because another Republican is the President-elect. The Yankees will still suck at life. Osama bin Laden will still be in his damn cave in Pakistan. American children will still be half-retarded. And cancer will not magically cure itself.
If Barack Obama gets elected:
Michael Jackson will not just suddenly admit he likes little boys. The Mexicans won't just say..."Oh Fuck America...I LOVE Mexico. I think I'll stay here". Windows Vista won't just magically fix itself. The HIV virus will not run from mankind back into the rainforest. All the puppies in the pound won't magically get adopted. People will still be starving all over the planet. And no, OJ Simpson won't just say "Yeah, I killed that bitch...so what?!"
I know we all love our candidates. But come on people. I don't see Jesus on the ballot. (Or Buddha, or any other God-type figure)
Hunker down folks...its not going to instantly get better.
Oh, and don't be a shithead. VOTE.
-The BAMF
Oh...and there is NO WAY you can watch this all the way through and not die laughing.
Enjoy.
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