25 January 2009

I DARE YOU...

...to watch this and NOT laugh.

I can't believe these people exist.






HAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm going to go kill some trees...

-The BAMF

20 January 2009

EPIC FAILURE!! HOORAY!!

In honor of President Barack Obama's Inaugeration...

I have decided to post some of my all time favorite FAIL videos.

(Bwahaha)

Some of these you people have seen...some you havent.

Hey, you are probably reading this at work..you need a laugh.


First up. Not one but TWO US Army FAILS.



And then...



And now on to some great ones...





And...



And... (I dont know WHAT this kid is trying to do)



And of course...its only funny when the terrorists FAIL.

Here's my favorite. They bury an IED TOO far in the road. Listen to the guy in the turret about 10 seconds after the explosion...he's wild..like me..hahaha.




And of course...we can have fun in Iraq...



We get bored...





And it wouldnt be complete without my boy...TECHNOVIKING!!





Have a great day people..

The BAMF

04 January 2009

I got tagged...TWICE..so here goes.

Oh, and TWO of you did this...so I guess I have to.


25 RANDOM things about ME:



1. I am a total carnivore. (Not to copy your first one Elle) I love steaks, chicken, mmmmm. Dinner.


2. Speaking of food, I actually kind of enjoy MRE's. Thats "Meal Ready to Eat" for you civilian types. Most would find them disgusting...but I strangely like them.


3. I got glasses in the third grade. Contact lenses in the 8th...and LASIK on New Years Eve (of all days) in 2004. Best. Decision. Ever.


Ok, to the GOOD stuff...

4. I cook. I clean. I do laundry. I am quite domestic. hey, you be 25 and hopelessly single..you'll learn.


5. I, as heterosexual as I am, LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Go ahead, mock me. Its a great show...and I have some strange thing for Lexi Grey. (Haha)


6. I am WRITING a book. (Whoa now) I spoke with a publisher a few months ago. Its a secret for now. But some of you people may make an appearance ;)


7. I have 2 tattoos. I REALLY want a 3rd one. I know what I want..I just cant decide where to put it! grrrr.


8. I'm 25. I've had these tattoo's for YEARS...and my parents DON'T know. They'd go bat-shit crazy.


9. I strangely WANT kids. (whoa now)


10. I despise most people in Hollywood. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE movies..and I even like a few actors. But please, shut the fuck up and just ACT. I don't give a shit about your political views or how eco-friendly you think I should be...just ACT assholes.


11. My BlackBerry is my new favorite toy.


12. Here's random for you. I can name the BEST meal I have ever eaten. The Rose and Crown Pub in St.Albans. On the outskirts of London. Holy shit amazing.


13. My Dad is my hero.


14. I am an "adrenaline-junkie". Damn you US Army for letting me jump out of aircraft.


15. I feel naked without my watch on.


16. I've been shot in my body armor before. TWICE. Its not like the movies kids...that shit hurts.


17. (Ok, THIS one is for you Elle) I LOVE seeing Memphis on "The First 48". I think it is HILARIOUS. I love seeing streets I've driven down, etc. Its funny.


18. My dog is like my child. Ok, my adopted child (she's a pound-rescue). But seriously, I love my dog.


19. I don't know how I lived without an iPod?


20. I wish I could collectively "pimp-slap" every member of Congress (The House AND The Senate...and BOTH Parties) Get a real job...bitches.


21. I have strong, strong, strong doubts about Barack Obama's ability to deliver on everything he has promised and he definitely has NO business being my Commander-in-Chief. (Hey, he is NOT the President YET people)


22. I want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head. (what?)


23. Televangelists are some of the funniest people I have ever seen. (Hey, I am a Christian...but come on Joel Osteen...lay off the Bo-Tox hero)


24. I am AMAZED by some other countries Military forces. I read about them, study them, etc. Not just to "know my enemy"...I just honestly find some of them interesting. Like the Russian Special Forces, the "Spetznaz", learn to fight...WITH A SHOVEL! A SHOVEL! Thats crazy. Come at me with your shovel. I'll kill you. With my rifle. From 300 meters away.


25. I'm one of the few people you probably know who really is going to spend his entire professional career serving this country. I dont just mean a few years...I mean all of it. You guys are worth it. I want you guys to be safe and enjoy all the FREEDOMS we have.


Out here,

The BAMF

I am a HORRIBLE person...kinda sorta?

Ok Ok Ok...I'm sorry I dissapeared. But hey, alot of you people vanished during the holidays too.

I DEEPLY apologize. But my life has been one word : in-fucking-sane. Yeah, its just ONE word.

The Holidays were actually NICE this year. I was at my parents house in good ol Collierville, TN with just them and my sister...and my dog...and my sister's dog (they count too). See, we had EVERYONE in town for Thanksgiving this year, so it was nice to have some peace for Christmas (I have a few Thanksgiving stories aboout my little demon-cousin Andrew...he's only 6...and he is the anti-Christ) Thats for a later post.


but DURING the month of December, I was busy jumping through the hoops for the government man. John has (as of January 4th, only ONE final interview/orientation session and I'll be on my way to Federal Agant land with the Department of Homeland Security. (Can I get a woot?) But once again, chatter for a later post.


I PROMISED you guys footage and pictures from that wild-ass exercise I did with the 20th Special Forces group. SO...I'll give you a teaser while I upload and edit video. ;)




Yes yes, the BAMF wandered onto a golf course...I couldn't resist the photo op.





More to come people.

-The BAMF