"Gradumate" School strikes again...

Hey there people, sorry its been awhile. Its been BUSY down here in Mississippi.

Classes started again. Ho-fucking-ray.

ALL of my classes seem pretty straight forward...almost easy....except for ONE.
There's always one right?

Its a 6000-level course. Not for your average retard. You have to have a Bachelor's to even get in the door. Its "Applied Mass Media Law". Ye-haw right?

No one, and I mean NO ONE, would take this class for shits and giggles. No way. (keep this statement in mind)

Its day numero uno. We all stumble into class. I find my nice seat by the wall, under the window. I'm happy. There's a rather attractive lady who sits down next to me. I grin. And before I can even think "Wow...she's hot"...it happens.

"Alright children, lets get this party started". Oh my god. I just got referred to as a child. Awesome.

Enter the professor from hell. This woman, who holds not one, but two Doctorate degrees (and she reminds you of this fact constantly) is, in my humble opinion...the Anti-Christ. Seriously. Everyone should go to Church now.

Typical first day of class in college....get your syllabus...discuss it....go home. No no no no. We stayed for the entire 2 hours.

She started her lecture by asking everyone who had a business undergrad to raise their hands. Three "children" fess-up. She promptly tells them to "drop the class while they are still breathing". And adds "if you don't have a communication background...this class will eat you and your whole family". For some reason...I laughed. What? It was funny.

She then proceeds to verbally rake us over the coals. She demands we fill out our "student profile". Its a three page form that involves everything from my phone number, to my ethnic background, educational background, career goals, etc. She wants to know "who she's dealing with". Ha ha.

The "Dr." then spent the rest of the time telling us how hard her class would be. How much we would "suffer". Blah blah blah.

Now, she warned us she is a very "pointed" person. But I was not QUITE ready for what happened next.

She was looking around the room, commenting on people's attire, etc (yes, like making fun of people).

SIDE NOTE: I'm in the Army. I've been in a long time now. I am used to being asked crazy questions.

She looks at me (I'm in jeans, t-shirt, hat, Oakley's on my hat) trying to blend in...and says "you in the military?"

Me: "Yes ma'am"

The Evil One: "What branch"

Me: "Army"

The Evil One: "Been in com BAT?" (she said it like that)

Me: "Yes ma'am...Iraq and Afghanistan"

The Evil One: "Hope you didn't kill any damn kids"

(awkward pause as I swallow my gum)

Me: "No ma'am...we don't do that despite what you hear on TV"

(awkward pause again)

The Evil One: hm.


And then she dismisses the class. No shit.



Stay tuned people. This semester is going to be fucking amazing.

Not to mention very, very, very interesting.

And no, I did not drop her class. I'm going to stay, make an A, and in December, take my Master's Degree and use it to give her paper cuts...in her fucking eyes.


Bring it...bitch.


-The BAMF